So, for the hour or so that I've been awake, I've been relentlessly tonguing this... bubble on the inside of my mouth. And it hurt, but it hurt in that way that I kind of like the way it hurt, but now its just starting to fucking hurt regular and it sucks.
I think this lesion is symptomatic of my preoccupation with tearing up the insides of my mouth. I know that several websites I've come across consider "mouth biting" to be self-harm but c'mon. It's like biting your fingernails but a bit bloodier. It's still tremendously gross and I'm not sure why it's so gratifying, but I sincerely consider it to be one of the finest pleasures life could ever offer. Some people must be able to relate to this. Like ripping off the skin around your nails or cracking your knuckles or pulling off scabs - things that are nasty but super fun! I would not say, however, that mouth biting rivals the sobriety of more traditional forms of self mutilation but at the same time, I sometimes wind up with a mouth full of blood. And that's kind of weird.
This is really not what I meant to write, but
the weather is awful
i am still lackadaisically seeking employment
and
my sleeping schedule has returned, regrettably, to vampire mode which puts me in a trance from the hours of 4 to 6, listlessly wondering if there were 15 minutes of wonderful daytime sunshine that are now gone forever.
But on a brighter note. Today is MLK day. And GOLDEN GLOBE DAY. What are the chances?
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